she

emily waldo jagger

arrived thursday

august 8th

at 9:40am

oh, oh...

there is so very much to share

and i will

but i'm completely distracted

by her milky, deep-sleep sighs 

on my chest

it's been almost exactly a month

since i've posted

and it's been a bursting one for sure-

a roller coaster 

of summer goodness

paralyzing anxiety

and love

love. love. love.

with each 

long-awaited 

deep, deep breath 

that i take

weighted only by 6lbs 12oz

of slumbering sweetness

i can feel 

my heart

being stitched 

from the bottom 

up...

welcome

sweet birdie

welcome

xoxo


photos: orchardcove

flashbulb

that's what they call it, right?

a flashbulb moment-

that instant

when your

life

stops

and

suspends

when your hopes and dreams and plans

change and shatter

and

disappear

...

friday, august 10th

6:33pm

...

i gave birth

...

8lbs 2oz, 21.5"

of
baby boy

blue

...

after a long, but healthy pregnancy

followed by a long, but wonderful abc labor and delivery

we didn't get our skin-to-skin and delayed cord clamping and long-dreamed-of introductions

instead

he was whisked away-

a little suction

we thought

meconium

we knew

laying

helpless

in the big recovery bed

when doctors came back

so we could "make decisions about our son"

deprived of oxygen

brain trama

seizures

cooling

now

we wait

tests 

and questions without answers

time and healing

but no plans

only prayer

...

my love

henry patrick waldo jagger

8.10.12

photos: amanda xoxo