august, fully loaded...

just when we get

deep into the delicious ease of july-

that sandy, joyful, barefoot, afternoon-napping bit of summer...

august arrives-

uninvited.

august is...

hard.

and fast... too fast...

heavy rememberances

dreaded goodbyes

twisted and mixed up with

joyful celebrations

 wham! bam!

and it's over-

like a tornado

through your soul

and then...

there your are.

exhausted. 

battered. 

and standing, yes... standing...

but alone

on an empty beach

everyone gone

but so not forgotten...

and every year it just feels harder-

this deep-in-your-bones emptiness

and here we are

home

but so.very. homesick.

for our tribe.

and those summer days

we wait all year for...

all of a sudden, we are here...

sitting on the edge of fall

not ready for the jump-

but before we can even take one last breath

school and meetings and a calendar full of appointments

are pushing us in.

celebrating henry

throughout this past pregnancy

i kept peaking ahead

to this month-

august

with a scramble of emotions-

love, fear, anxiety, pain, excitement

the birthday of our boy

the due date of our daughter

the anniversary of losing henry

i needed to find a way

to remember our sweet son

and the excitement i felt

on the day he was born-

the day i became a mom

in a way
that wasn't totally 

sad

or 

scary

i needed a celebration.

to find a way to honor 

what a joy he was

in our lives

even

if it was only for just 

11 days

.

something to share 

with our family

who felt the loss of henry

almost as completely as we did

a new tradition

that our future children

would love 

so...

we planned a birthday beach night-

our favorite kind of easy summer celebration

a sand-side picnic

our favorite people

mama-decorated birthday cake

taps at sunset

...

and then

after the sun had gone down

we sent paper lanterns

into the night sky

decorated with our 

wishes + prayers

for henry patrick

on his first birthday

and it was

a celebration

...

with love and thanks

xo

she

emily waldo jagger

arrived thursday

august 8th

at 9:40am

oh, oh...

there is so very much to share

and i will

but i'm completely distracted

by her milky, deep-sleep sighs 

on my chest

it's been almost exactly a month

since i've posted

and it's been a bursting one for sure-

a roller coaster 

of summer goodness

paralyzing anxiety

and love

love. love. love.

with each 

long-awaited 

deep, deep breath 

that i take

weighted only by 6lbs 12oz

of slumbering sweetness

i can feel 

my heart

being stitched 

from the bottom 

up...

welcome

sweet birdie

welcome

xoxo


photos: orchardcove

rainy summer sundays

those lazy summer days

 

hazy with light rain

guiltlessly off the beach

 

 sprawled across a couch

falling deeper

into a good book

lunching

with the whole crew

around the family table

in the light of day

lobster 

laughter

and
full bellies

...

sunhats

waiting...

happy list

a collection

of the little things that have made my week

(started here)

...

OH shnikes!

i've been meaning and meaning and meaning

to get to this place

but

JUNE!

is here!

and half gone!

life has been busy, busy, busy

which, i suppose

is good-

these last two months-

filled with holidays celebrating parenthood

and warming tide pools filled with splashing babies

has left my heart heavier than i expected...

but, of course

there are the very happy things

that come with early summer, too...

dining al fresco

 

in our sweet backyard

rising with the sun

and finding such beauty

custom ellas

 

on their way to a colorado wedding

(and to be worn with cowboy boots! love!)

a surprise delivery

 

local, organic, summer berries

oh. my. yum.

and

the most happy thing of all-

the arrival of my people

those friends who really are family

whose summer migration north

makes every. little. thing.

feel

just

right.

Hallelujah.

waiting game

today... we are 39 weeks



anxious and ready
to meet this long-dreamed-of
babe
...
camped out in blissful little compton
waking to the sound of the swallows
enjoying beach walks
cool breezes
and the luxury of lounging

all while

counting contractions

...

news soon-

we hope!

1st photo by amanda, taken 33 weeks / bassinet, ready for babe

july, half-spent

summer, here 

is always chock-full

(thus, the worse-than-usual blogging. please excuse.)

theresa is here

we've had beach nights

 

and welcome cookouts

 forth of july festivities

and farmer's market delights

nursery nesting

and a baby belly that feels to have reached

max-stretchability

...

more than ever

i am thankful

for summers spent by the sea...

i'm off to float!

happy summer!

  

  

beach * happiness

...

the official first day of summer

and we are in a full-on heat wave!

extreme heat and pregnancy

(not to mention a very long to-do list of house projects)

are not mixing well for me-

but

tomorrow...

to the beach

for my first float of the season 

...

how are you beating the heat?

school's out for summah!

a favorite family tradition

has always been

"swirlie whirlies"

at captain frosty's

on the last day of school

today

reid and i celebrated his!

the boat life

after two days of canning

my sister and her fam

invited us to join them on their tug boat (!)

for dinner

late summer, early evening light over lake chaplain

ahhh,

the good life!

my sweet niece

this was the evening before my nephew's first day of kindergarten

so i surprised him with a watch of his own

as a special good luck gift-

he was so super psyched!

the fam

dinner grillin'

mama and babe

me and amanda

tired, but still friends! (hahaha)

our captain, oh captain

...

yeah, a pretty sweet end to a work day!

...

thank you, meggin and al, for a most memorable evening

and amanda, for the photos!