for henry...

we gathered again

on the 10th of august

for an evening at our happy place-

the beach.

with our people.

dinner and wine (with the most perfect name).

cake.
decorated with love, for the boy we celebrated.
...

wishes and prayers

we wrote
and sent-

happy birthday 

we sang

up to heaven

for our boy

henry patrick waldo jagger

smiles

and kisses

and tears
love and gratitude
...

two. xo

(last year)

august, fully loaded...

just when we get

deep into the delicious ease of july-

that sandy, joyful, barefoot, afternoon-napping bit of summer...

august arrives-

uninvited.

august is...

hard.

and fast... too fast...

heavy rememberances

dreaded goodbyes

twisted and mixed up with

joyful celebrations

 wham! bam!

and it's over-

like a tornado

through your soul

and then...

there your are.

exhausted. 

battered. 

and standing, yes... standing...

but alone

on an empty beach

everyone gone

but so not forgotten...

and every year it just feels harder-

this deep-in-your-bones emptiness

and here we are

home

but so.very. homesick.

for our tribe.

and those summer days

we wait all year for...

all of a sudden, we are here...

sitting on the edge of fall

not ready for the jump-

but before we can even take one last breath

school and meetings and a calendar full of appointments

are pushing us in.

celebrating henry

throughout this past pregnancy

i kept peaking ahead

to this month-

august

with a scramble of emotions-

love, fear, anxiety, pain, excitement

the birthday of our boy

the due date of our daughter

the anniversary of losing henry

i needed to find a way

to remember our sweet son

and the excitement i felt

on the day he was born-

the day i became a mom

in a way
that wasn't totally 

sad

or 

scary

i needed a celebration.

to find a way to honor 

what a joy he was

in our lives

even

if it was only for just 

11 days

.

something to share 

with our family

who felt the loss of henry

almost as completely as we did

a new tradition

that our future children

would love 

so...

we planned a birthday beach night-

our favorite kind of easy summer celebration

a sand-side picnic

our favorite people

mama-decorated birthday cake

taps at sunset

...

and then

after the sun had gone down

we sent paper lanterns

into the night sky

decorated with our 

wishes + prayers

for henry patrick

on his first birthday

and it was

a celebration

...

with love and thanks

xo

she

emily waldo jagger

arrived thursday

august 8th

at 9:40am

oh, oh...

there is so very much to share

and i will

but i'm completely distracted

by her milky, deep-sleep sighs 

on my chest

it's been almost exactly a month

since i've posted

and it's been a bursting one for sure-

a roller coaster 

of summer goodness

paralyzing anxiety

and love

love. love. love.

with each 

long-awaited 

deep, deep breath 

that i take

weighted only by 6lbs 12oz

of slumbering sweetness

i can feel 

my heart

being stitched 

from the bottom 

up...

welcome

sweet birdie

welcome

xoxo


photos: orchardcove

faith

To forget time, to forgive life, to be at peace.

                                                        Oscar Wilde

with summer now upon us

and this next chapter

right around the corner

it's time to share-

we're expecting.

...

the past year has been a roller coaster to be sure-

anticipation, immense joy, soul-crushing heartache, game-changing friendship

fear, hope, anxiety, small miracles, trust

and 

love

...

now, at 32 weeks

there is no hiding this bump of our soon-to-arrive baby

no, we haven't shouted this pregnancy from the roof tops-

but

we are so very happy.

and grateful.

and excited.

also, yes, a little scared.

we are taking life one day at a time.

healing

and fostering confidence

we are looking forward

to august-

to remembering our boy

by celebrating his birthday

and to

welcoming

 his little sister

(yes! a girl!)

happy list

a collection

of the little things that have made my week

(started here)

...

OH shnikes!

i've been meaning and meaning and meaning

to get to this place

but

JUNE!

is here!

and half gone!

life has been busy, busy, busy

which, i suppose

is good-

these last two months-

filled with holidays celebrating parenthood

and warming tide pools filled with splashing babies

has left my heart heavier than i expected...

but, of course

there are the very happy things

that come with early summer, too...

dining al fresco

 

in our sweet backyard

rising with the sun

and finding such beauty

custom ellas

 

on their way to a colorado wedding

(and to be worn with cowboy boots! love!)

a surprise delivery

 

local, organic, summer berries

oh. my. yum.

and

the most happy thing of all-

the arrival of my people

those friends who really are family

whose summer migration north

makes every. little. thing.

feel

just

right.

Hallelujah.

winter weekend by the sea

a winter weekend

spent by the sea

 with a handful of 

very dear friends

and full 

of favorite things...

beach walks

(and for a few, an icy dip, not for public view...)

stitching
bathed in early morning sun

breakfast. perfection.

not kidding.
challah french toast and "christmas" spiced bacon.
#likeohmuhgawd

(this is what happens when bloggers get together...)


 

reviving

recharging

(yes, we wore pajamas to the coffee shop. it was an emergency. for real.)


knitting

over tea
and
girl talk...

a few days
of just-what-i-needed
company, creating, feasting
and laughter
oh, was there ever laughter....

the perfect ending
to january
and just enough inspiration
to get february off on the right foot
...

M, E, A, S + B- thank. you. 
xoxo